40 Faces
![I came over from Ireland on the 8th of November 1977 and I was there [at St Gemma’s Hospice] from November to the April before we opened getting everything ready.I was always happy to be there, I like my work. It was a new project for us, it was som…](https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/57f237a4d1758e2d78e76362/1600368091296-2KDX1DVMXT3CZJ4FR2D8/image-asset.jpeg)
I came over from Ireland on the 8th of November 1977 and I was there [at St Gemma’s Hospice] from November to the April before we opened getting everything ready.
I was always happy to be there, I like my work. It was a new project for us, it was something very new.
If you start something and it continues in a good way I think that’s wonderful. The Hospice is beautiful now. It’s all progress and I think that’s wonderful.
The staff was great, they were very loyal. Even years and years after they would always write to me and we always kept very close together. Whatever happened in the kitchen, stayed in the kitchen.
I remember exactly when Terry came in the first day because I had got the word that he was going to be an awkward patient and that he would eat very little. So I went round to him and the first thing he ate that day was scrambled eggs and toast and cream crackers and cheese, it’s funny the way you remember.
You got to know all the relatives and all that and you’d always make sure that they had something to eat as well, they’d come in on their way home from work to see their loved ones.
We’d always let them know every day that we were thinking about them, that they weren’t just a number. I think that’s really important.
Sister John Vianney, One Of The Founding Sisters
Nobody ever knows. You take life as it comes; at least I have been happy enough with mine.
You’ve just got to continue on to the end and enjoy it, no good moping about anything.
It makes a lot of difference. We’ve got a family with no secrets. Daughters, sons, kids, grandkids, they all know about it. It makes a big difference when you are aware of it. It all came about extremely suddenly. When it happens, it happens. We’re getting by.
You’ve got to look after these places as best you can. What they’ve done at present is amazing. I expected to come in and go out, or to go in and stop in. I didn’t expect to come out with all this attention because you know they’re doing almost everything for me. I am looking forward to going home.
They look after you very well. The level of attention is amazing; you can’t get that attention in a hospital. What else can I ask for? The staff are very good, it’s nice to go somewhere and have no complaints, just the opposite.
Ernie, Hospice Patient
He looked after me when I had cancer, now it’s my turn.
The carers’ group’s fantastic. I’ve made some of my closest friends there.
I can say things in there that I can’t say to him. I know that sounds awful and I’m not going to talk about him, but it’s just about me then. I can focus on how I’m feeling, because I’m devastated.
He might not think it, but when ‘owt happens to him I’ll be devastated, it’ll be like having my arms and legs chopped off.
You can explain it there, or if you’ve had a bad week, or if he’s been nasty to me, because he does, and I’m nasty to him. When you’re in the same environment all the time with each other you’re bound to rub off wrong, especially if he’s not well.
We’re not saints, we’re just people going through a difficult time.
Jean, Member Of The Carers’ Group And Barry, Day Services Drop-In Patient
It wasn’t what I expected, it was lovely. We had a few Saturday nights in St Gemma’s. We sat there one Saturday and I did all her make-up and we had a movie night and Domino’s and all sorts.
I did all mum’s make-up that night, spent ages doing all of it and then we just sat and watched films and stuff. It was so good that you could stay whenever you wanted.
We took the dogs there at one point didn’t we? Which was really lovely. I took them in and everyone was saying “Aww look at these” walking down the corridor. That day I’d had their hair cut, I’d had them bathed and everything, I had them all in new collars, new leads, got little jumpers and coats on and stuff.
India, Daughter Of Karen, Hospice Patient
When I was a child I was frightened of hospitals because my Mum was very ill. She had MS, and was only 46 when she died. I had to have an old head on young shoulders, but I do know that her illness had an effect on me and made me want to nurse.
I loved every minute of it although it is work that you have to like, one must not be half-hearted about it.
You always had to know what to say, and when not to say it, when to speak, and when to be quiet. Even if people are not talking, you are listening, and you are feeling it, especially younger people when they die. That is one of the hardest parts.
And St Gemma’s are in my Will too, because hospices are very necessary places, I definitely think that. They allow people to end their days peacefully and with dignity.
Many people said ‘I don’t know how you could do that sort of work! You must be hard’, which is definitely on the contrary as far as I’m concerned. It is so very necessary to be a very kind, caring, unselfish person.
Roz, Retired St Gemma’s Nurse
It’s been about 3 years in June I’ve been working here. I used to work in another Hospice in London; I was there for 15 years.
I’ve always liked working in hospices. I think it’s a nice place to work, the people are nice, the patients. Even though it’s sad, the patients are very nice. It’s better than working in other places; it’s very calm and easy going.
Laundry’s my favourite. When I used to work in London I used to do it there. The teamwork keeps me motivated, I get on with everybody, and the people that I work with are all great.
If I tell people that I work in a Hospice I have to explain it to people, explain what a hospice is. I say, well it’s nice to work in a hospice, helping people.
It never smells clinical, you walk into this place and it smells very fresh and like someone’s home.
Sonia, Housekeeper
You weren’t very well at all, but St Gemma’s have really got you on your feet haven’t they. And if we’ve got any problems we end up ringing up. Mummy’s never ever had anyone look after her as well as here.
It’s just nice to know you’ve got that support from them and if I need to speak to them at all I’ve got a number that I can just ring.
They’re very good at Day Hospice because what they’ll say is ‘you just go’ and I’ll go outside and Mummy, you download a lot to them that I don’t really know, but they’ll then correspond with me. And I’ve then got a true picture from them of how I could do it better, or what I shouldn’t do, things like that. It’s just that help that you need and it’s just wonderful.
How can I explain. It is so so beautiful, everywhere you go it is super. The rooms, everywhere, it’s all set up lovely. Just so much of it, you can’t believe how. It must have taken the 40 years to get it like it is, it is gorgeous. Everyone is just so perfect.
When Mummy has been poorly and we’ve gone back they’ve done your oxygen, urine tests, blood pressure, they’ve done everything for you there haven’t they. And we’ve been laughing while you’ve been having it done haven’t we?
Mummy’s got 5 children and she’s got 15 grand-children, 31 great-grandchildren and she’s got 1 great-great-granddaughter haven’t you Mummy?
Sometimes she’ll say don’t tell anyone but you are proud of it aren’t you.
The thing is Norma, my life has changed so much since I came here. It’s just different now. Different. I don’t think of going back.
We are a good team aren’t we Mummy?
Oh absolutely
Wilhelmina, Day Hospice Patient And Norma, Her Daughter
I’ve worked here 17 years. I came to work here after my dad had been an In-Patient 25 years ago and the care that he received made me want to come and work here.
I work here because I care about the patients in the rooms, they’re what I’m here for.
People always expect it to be a sad place and it’s not a sad place. It’s being able to give quality of life while people have got a life. Quite often that’s a sense of fun, a sense of enjoying the time that’s left.
What I particularly enjoy doing is arranging special things for people. It can be the simplest thing but it means something to them and that’s a really good thing to do.
Recently we had a young lady and she wanted to be able to take her daughter to London but she was too ill for that. It was Halloween so we decorated the room with spider’s webs and all sorts. We did her room up and then we got them some pretend fizz, because her daughter was only 10.
She was just amazed, she realised she didn’t have to go anywhere, she could have everything there with her daughter and they had a special evening together.
It can also be something as simple as when a lady just wanted rollers putting in. That is the important thing to people, bringing a bit of normality into someone’s life when they’re at their lowest point really. That’s what I enjoy.
The number of people that say when they come through the doors they can feel the calm. People often say ‘you speak to us like you’ve known us forever’, you meet people and you can just put them at ease.
Brenda, Healthcare Assistant
My St Gemma’s journey started 13 years ago working as a corporate volunteer in the gardens. I knew what St Gemma’s did but at that stage had never got under the skin of what volunteering would mean to me.
I then experienced the great care St Gemma’s gave my late father; the care was exceptional and this inspired me to give more back to St Gemma’s.
Since then it’s been a privilege to work in the gardens, you really get a true perspective of what the gardens mean to both the patients and their families. The garden provides a place for quiet contemplation of lives well lived and loved.
I never appreciated that the gardens are an oasis for all during turbulent times. It’s great that we can also support patients who want to help with tasks around the garden and in the greenhouse. I like to think that our work provides some extra support to all.
I am privileged to be one of the many volunteers; it’s like being in one big extended family. I have made many great friends and have tried to give a bit back to St Gemma’s, a wonderful and inspiring organisation.
I cannot recommend volunteering for St Gemma’s highly enough, it’s great, it feeds the soul and makes you a better person, and helps you to put your busy lives in perspective.
Janet, Volunteer Gardener
Lynne, my wife, passed away in December 2006 and was in the hospice for 4 weeks, during which time I lived at the hospice alongside her.
Our daughter Rebecca was going to be 21 in the January and our eldest daughter Victoria was to be married in the May. The Hospice helped us to arrange a celebration on the ward and blessing ceremony in the chapel, so we could all celebrate these occasions with our family and friends. Lynne passed away 2 days after the blessing, but thanks to all the staff she was able to see these milestones in her daughters’ lives ahead of time.
I feel the same now as I did the day my wife died. Going to the Hospice is like going back home. You are made so welcome and that’s by everybody. I still see staff, it may only be once a year, who knew my wife and they will always ask how I am and ask after the girls.
I can’t give back moneywise everything they did for her; that’s why I volunteer as a van driver, I love doing the job. I used to say that anytime I got fed up I’d stop, but over 10 years later I haven’t got to that stage.
David, Volunteer Van Driver
I started attending counselling at St Gemma’s because my Grandma was dying of pancreatic cancer.
Her name was Anita, she was very close to me because she looked after me from being 6 months old and we would do everything together. I liked going to garden centres with her and she told me all about flowers and what season they blossomed in. Grandma Anita taught me how to knit, bake, garden and sew.
When I went to see my counsellor Jackie I felt safe to tell her exactly how I was feeling and everyone at the Hospice was really lovely, even walking down a corridor the staff would smile at you. When Grandma was in St Gemma’s it was a bit upsetting to see her there but I felt comfort that all the lovely people were taking good care of her.
I used to go with grandma [to the knit and natter group] in the school holidays and all the ladies were lovely and helped me with my knitting. It was nice to meet Grandma’s friends and help make teas and coffees. They raised lots of money for lots of charities, which I thought I was really kind of them.
I really liked the trip to Lineham Farm and met lots of other children going through similar things to me. I enjoyed the Christmas party as well. Unfortunately I’ve missed a few activities because I’ve been poorly with my Crohn’s.
Evie, Accessed St Gemma’s Young Peoples’ Service
Mum, she was a hyper caring person. Once we’d flown the coop she needed somewhere to release her caring powers so she worked in the caring industry.
She would come here often with us as children, to Roundhay Park. We’d have fun, just like everybody else, like today really. It has special resonance with me because we’d come with my sister and my mum and my grandad and my dad, and that never ever happened. That’s a beautiful thing; it’s just a really good memory for me.
Now the thing is with St. Gemma’s is I didn’t even expect or realise that she’d ever use it. She got cancer, she went through her treatment and then the day that she decided not to go ahead with the chemotherapy she said ‘I don’t want to continue with it, this will end up killing me’.
Things progressed, she got worse and then she came to St Gemma’s and she really looked forward to it. It gave her a focus and something to do. She’d get all these tasks done, she was always a do-er, I guess all mums are like super women.
Even down to the funeral, she arranged that; we were left just to grieve. The legacy she left was that if I was a fraction of what she was, I’d be happy.
Reggie, Son Of Josie, Hospice Patient
It’s a good place to be. The staff are amazing here. You’re anxious about being on your own at the minute, you want somebody with you. The fact that we can stay over is really good. It’s such a different place to being in a hospital, it’s very calm. You can have what you want, when you want.
You were reluctant to come; you didn’t want to get out of your house did you? You wanted to be at home and you still want to be at home. The eventual aim is to get you home but you needed to come here and get things sorted.
It’s great being at home and we’ve got nurses available but you’ve got to ring them and it can take an hour for them to come out. And it’s us making those decisions, and we shouldn’t have to make them for her, it should be nurses and doctors and so we can just enjoy being together.
Hilary, Hospice Patient And Susanne, Her Daughter
When we go on the ward it is often the relatives that get excited to see her. It breaks the day because it’s a normal thing. You always have great reactions. The staff really love to see them so why not benefit everybody; staff, patients and relatives.
I think it’s nice having a dog around and it’s something to look forward to. It’s so unusual to see a dog in this setting I think. It makes it a bit more special really.
I always say ‘I am Heather and this is Milly, I’m pleased to meet you’. If somebody doesn’t have any visitors with them I’ll spend longer chatting about things, because obviously it’s nice to see people.
I’m not medical, I’m not chatting about why they’re in here it’s more general chit-chat. You’re not a poorly person to me, you’re just a person and I see you as a person, not as an ill person.
Obviously if they’re in bed they can’t always sit up even, but just having her in the room or if they see their relatives with her, that gives them joy.
I thought we‘d just make a difference to the patients but it really is the relatives and the staff too. Obviously there are difficult days and it just brightens them up. It’s a welcome distraction for everyone here.
Milly, Therapy Dog And Heather, Owner
Who would have thought a dinner table conversation would lead to over 40 years of being part of the Hospice.
The past 40 years hold many cherished memories. These include watching my children dig the first sod for the Hospice, writing Hospice shopping lists and securing donors to buy bricks, sheets, ambulances.
Jumble sales and fashion shows evolved into a charity shop. The first shop was a former outhouse in the Hospice grounds. The shop was so successful that larger premises had to be found. It was not politically correct for men to try trousers on in the car park!
In 1984 I became the manager of St Gemma’s charity shop on Harehills Lane. From small beginnings our Hospice has grown from strength to strength. We now have 23 charity shops.
I will never tire from feeling the buzz of raising funds to enable Hospice care to be provided. I am very proud of the Harehills team and their endless dedication, and all the fellow fundraisers I have met along the way.
Kathleen, Shop Manager At Harehills Since 1984
Sometime after my wife Marlene died I wrote a letter which I was going to send and I thought ‘no this sounds a bit twee’. I’ll give you the gist of it.
St. Gemma’s is a tree and everyone who works there is a strong branch of that tree providing shelter, compassion and treatments for the fortunate patients who have managed to come here.
Six months ago I couldn’t have done this. It took me a long long time even to get used to the idea of not seeing Marlene again. Then suddenly I started not to be well and I thought ‘this is mad, I must get things organised for the kids’ so that when I do go they have nothing to do.
The only thing I can remember is waking up here with a nurse sitting on both sides and Mei who looked after Marlene was the one on the right side. And she said ‘Ronnie!’ and held my hand. You can’t put a price on it can you?
You’ve got to show your emotion, if you want to sit down and have a cry fine. I cry often, even now. I sat at home with my son and started thinking about Marlene and I burst into tears. It’s normal, we were married 61 years.
When I came with Marlene originally, the minute you walk through reception the whole atmosphere is one of peace, quiet, welcome. It’s amazing and it still is.
I’m really hard to impress, but this impressed me. I’m the luckiest man in the world to be here.
Ronnie, Hospice Patient
There comes a time when people really need this service and I think this service is very important in person-centred care.
When my husband was seriously ill, I don’t have any family in Leeds and my two children are far away, so when I was told he had only limited days I needed somebody to talk to. I did ask for chaplaincy support and I didn’t get any. So that really brought me into that area.
It is something my husband has led me to, and though he’s not here, when I’m doing this work I feel he’s walking alongside with me.
Since I’ve come here there’s been people who feel very restful talking to me because I can speak their language; I speak three Asian languages, which means I can cover the community all around Leeds. And I don’t have any particular focus on any minority faith or any religion, so people find it quite easy to talk to me.
Everyone is a human being, it doesn’t matter what colour, what creed, what religion, what background; the feelings are exactly the same. We share a lot together.
I think the main work of spiritual care volunteers is to be with people and to help them, whatever they are asking of us. We don’t intrude; we just enter their space with their own invitation. Then we start walking with them and being in their pain, their emotional difficulties. Sometimes they have got things that they have never told anyone, and we are there to listen to them.
Satwant, Spiritual Care Volunteer
She’s lovely is Nicky, she really is nice and hands on aren’t you darling?
We sit and have a good discussion don’t we?
We do yeah. When I’ve felt really horrible some days… when I’ve just been really down, you know, she’s always there for me. She rings up on a regular thing, don’t you? You’re always there to check how I am. She’s an amazing lady, she really is, she’s a dedicated nurse.
You are the best; you’ve always been there for me and Steven.
You’ve always been so positive through everything.
Because you’ve helped me as well, you know, you’ve showed me the way – the light at the end of the tunnel.
There’s days when I just feel shocking, and I mean really down and shocking, and then I think to myself ‘well look, I’m here, I’ve got Steven – and he’s a lovely husband, he really is the best. And the children are good and the grandkids they just keep me going. Then I’ve got the lovely Nicky! What more could one want? And St Gemma’s are there, I know I can phone them and they’re there for me.
We talk about how you’re feeling and anything that is troubling you. We look at any symptoms that are troubling you and what we can do to help those so that you can get on with enjoying life. Steven is included as much as he wants and we make sure he is coping OK.
Yes everything, they take everything into consideration does St Gemma’s. Yeah it’s nice, thank you so much for being there for me, thank you.
You’re welcome.
You’re so dedicated to your job, that’s what we need.
Maria, Community Patient And Nicky, St Gemma’s Community Nurse Specialist
40 Faces goes behind the scenes of St Gemma’s Hospice with portraits of patients, families, volunteers and staff, all sharing their stories. St Gemma’s Hospice wanted to mark their 40th Anniversary year and to depict the often surprising reality of hospice care, with stories that share feelings of hope, love, happiness, humour and bravery. Olivia Hemingway worked closely with Emily Clarke, who interviewed and compiled the text for the series. This is a selection from the series and the full series can be viewed here: St Gemma’s Hospice 40 Faces Gallery
The 40 Faces exhibition was on display at Leeds City Museum over summer 2018, alongside various pop-up exhibitions across Leeds and surrounding areas.
© Olivia Hemingway